Title: The Unexpected Bride
Author: DragonLight
Team: Cauldron
Genre(s): Literary and Crossdressing/Genderbending
Prompt(s): Secrets and Lies
Rating: R
Warning/Kinks: *The abovementioned Crossdressing. Written (hopefully) like a Regency romance novel.*
Word Count: ~19,750
Summary: With the guilt of his sister's death hanging over him, Lord St. Gryff embarks on a treacherous adventure impersonating his sister not realizing that the subterfuge will forever change his life when he meets the dark and mysterious Lord Snape. As he finds himself falling more and more for the enigmatic man, the fear that the lies their relationship is built on will come crashing down increases.

Scorned by society for wartime actions that no one for sure knows are true, Lord Snape has no recourse but to marry a proper young lady and beget an heir as quickly as possible. When his some times ally but most times enemy suggests the sister of a friend who might understand his peculiar preferences, he thinks he's found the answer, but has he?
A/N: Tons of people to thank. The mods for being so patient with me as I struggled to finish and get this edited. Femme and Djinnj for their cheerleading and betas and saving me from making some disastrous mistakes. :D My sister and Delta both for not letting me give up this story.

The Unexpected Bride

Prologue
January 1816

Sighing, Harry studied the effete man who had just entered his office. As with the last five applicants, he thought that his brilliant plan would fail, but for once it was not because of the man standing in front of him, but because of the small child clinging to the man's coat.

"You say that you used to play lady's maid to your mother, Monsieur Malfoy?" Harry pulled his eyes off the small boy and to the paper he'd rested on his desk.

Malfoy pushed his long blond hair over his shoulder. He shifted, subtly moving until he was blocked more of the small boy from Harry's view. "Yes, my lord. My father was a comte, however..." The man trailed off, his jaw clenched.

Harry would have been more inclined to continue the interview had the child not been there, but now he didn't know what to say.

"My Lord?"

Harry sighed again. "Just why have you come to England?"

"My father expects me to remarry and the idea does not, shall I say, appeal to me." Malfoy stared down at his perfectly polished boots before he glanced at the small boy next to him. As he tilted his head, his hair fell into his eyes, softening his pointed features; they were quite delicate and Harry found himself appraising the possibility regardless.

Folding his hands on the top of his desk, Harry leveled as stern a stare as he could manage at Malfoy; unfortunately, he was not known for being austere. "There is one slight problem, you realize?"

Malfoy nodded. "My son. His name is Scorpius, my Lord. His presence will not become an issue, I assure you. I could not leave him with my parents back in France."

"I am in need of a young man who can act as both a lady's maid and a companion for a certain young lady enjoying her first Season. I find it hard to imagine that a young boy will not pose a problem."

One graceful eyebrow arched. "Forgive me for being so bold, my Lord, but don't most ladies employ women?"

"I suppose, but the young lady that I mentioned is not in actuality a young woman. The situation is much more complex. I am looking for someone who will help my sister prepare for and navigate through a Season in Town."

"I see."

Harry stared at Malfoy for some minutes before nodding. It could work. He could contact his widowed aunt who tended to turn a blind eye toward most of his rather eccentric habits -- to be expected of someone who had been married to a man such as his Uncle Albus -- and, if memory served, she liked children even though she never had any of her own. The perfect chaperone.

"My sister died in a carriage accident when she was ten; I was away at school at the time." A small, sad smile came over Harry's face and his green eyes darkened to a deeper shade. "Whenever I would go home for holidays she always talked about how much she was looking forward to her first Season."

"You are saying that you intend to step into your sister's shoes? Literally, in fact?" Malfoy narrowed his eyes, and Harry had the feeling that his potential was being assessed.

"Yes, that was the plan. For a Season, the Season she never had."

"Well, I assume that you have similar features to your sister and that it is not common knowledge that she's dead."

"The majority of my family was rather reclusive. Although my sister was five years my junior, we did have the same hair and green eyes." Harry narrowed the aforementioned green eyes questioningly. "Do you think that I could pass? Can it be done?"

"For a lady of the ton enjoying her first Season?"

Harry nodded.

"You certainly couldn't pass for a green girl straight out of the schoolroom, but with enough work we might be able to transform you into a fascinating bluestocking who has been rusticating in the country and whose brother has finally decided to marry her off."

Harry opened his mouth to interrupt, but Malfoy lifted his hand signaling for an additional moment.

"She'd be quite original and would need an equally original companion. I think that I could fulfill such a role perfectly." Malfoy's eyes flashed with excitement. "I assume that the money required for such a delicate subterfuge is not an object?"

"Not at all." Harry's lips turned up in amusement.

Malfoy's returning grin was wicked. "Good. Because it will take quite some work to bring you up to snuff."

Late March 1816

Dear Siri,

I know that I should have warned you that I would be traveling to the Continent during the Season, but I've heard such fascinating tales about the beautiful men to be found in Venice that I could not resist seeking those men out. Wish me luck on my travels and don't go telling tales to turn the beautiful men of London against me in my absence.

As much as I wish it was not the case, I have an ulterior motive in writing to you, my friend. My sister Harrietta has appealed to me stating that she is quite old enough for a Season, and I granted her wish before the desire to see the lush lands of Italy overcame me. She would not be put off until next year, however, and has decided to take up residence in my townhouse for the Season with a companion along with as well as my widowed Aunt Poppy. I hope you will be so kind as to take a few minutes of your precious time to introduce her to some eligible men at those parties and soirees that you find so amusing, and to protect her from the more unscrupulous types before you head go off in search of your own new conquests. I'm sure that you know what I mean.

I warn you, she has led a sheltered life and has a rather eccentric manner, and her companion is no better. There was no swaying her to find someone more appropriate as they have been friends for some time. This may be in her favor though, as I think between the two of them they will quite delight and amuse the ton.…

Lord Black put down the letter that had been waiting for him beside his teacup when he woke that morning, and swirled the dregs of his wine glass. It was just like that young rake to run off for a fabulous time and forget all about him. Not for the first time, Sirius wished for the freedom youth brought. Harry did not have to confine himself to London and the Season looking for a bride on the Marriage Mart to satisfy the nagging of his impatient family. It was a shame that so many of the women of the ton were dreadfully frigid; and while Harrietta would most likely be as amusing as promised, but there was no doubt that his friend wouldn't let him marry his little sister. Harry knew far too much about his proclivities, from personal experience in some cases.

Picking up the letter once again, he skimmed it. If he wasn't mistaken, it sounded as if Harry wanted to marry the chit off which shouldn't come as much of a surprise as it did since Harry never talked about his sister. What came as the bigger surprise was that Harry had put the girl into Sirius's hands. Sirius was notorious throughout the ton for his scandalous behavior, and his dubious reputation was second to none. In a round about way, Sirius supposed, it made sense. After all, Harry quite often remarked upon his extreme loyalty. Making Sirius Harrietta's de facto guardian promised that he would protect her from all the rakes of society, including himself. And Harry himself was not terribly conversant with drawing rooms, or with sitting amongst the teacups of the ladies, the lucky rascal. The young buck preferred the company of horses, and of men. Lord Black smiled. The sister of Viscount St. Gryff would have a handsome dowry and given any luck she'd have the same eyes as her brother. That bright emerald green gaze was what had first drawn him to Harry, in fact.

From where he was sitting, Sirius caught sight of Snape stalking towards the card room. He was in London for the same reason as Sirius, the need to find a wife and in turn secure an heir. Snape was the worse off, having neither looks nor charm to counteract the considerable handicap of the rumors of his wartime activities. A well-born wife of good fortune would do much to reclaim his standing there as well. They did not truly run in the same circles, of course, but there were a handful of exclusive house parties at which Sirius had caught sight of the man that only confirmed the rumors that they shared certain proclivities. Once her duties as a wife were fulfilled with the presentation of an heir, Harrietta would be perfectly safe in his hands unless the basest rumors about his stint as a French spy were also true.

Better yet, if Sirius could marry the girl off before the Season even began then he'd have the whole Season free to do as he wished. At least whilst not making a show of looking about for a wife himself.

Sirius stood and followed Snape into the card room. "Snape." Sirius nodded his head a mere fraction of an inch, and threw himself into the chair opposite.

"Well, if it isn't my favorite joke, Lord Black. Surely there are others who would enjoy winning your money," Snape sneered.

There was only one problem really, one that easily had slipped Sirius's mind: they hated each other.

Sirius leaned into the back corner of his chair, flinging his arm across the top and gave Snape a lopsided grin. "You're in luck today, my friend--"

"I am not your friend!"

"Triviality." Sirius flicked his wrist in dismissal. "I just happen to have the name of a marriageable miss who will be making her debut this Season, and I have it on good authority that she is not likely not to overset herself in regards to your choice of future bed partners."

Snape's eyebrow rose. "We were just about to start a game. Perhaps you'd like to be dealt in a game of piquet, Lord Black?"

Harry tugged at the bodice of the dress Draco had chosen for him. "This isn't going to work." Harry continued fussing until Draco reached forward and rapped him on the knuckles with his fan.

"Of course it won't work if you continue pulling at your dress in that entirely unladylike manner."

"It's too low. Even Aunt Poppy said so." Harry crossed his arms over his chest. He did not want to go to this party. He wasn't ready.

"Your aunt, as wonderful as she has been with Scorpius these past months," Draco said, "has been out of fashionable society for much too long to harbor any opinions on what you are wearing. She still wears powdered wigs! Now give me your hand." He slipped a fan onto his wrist before readjusting the bodice of Harry's gown.

Harry stared down at the closed fan dangling from around his wrist. There was something that he was supposed to do with it.

"Do you remember everything you've learned about the fan?" Draco asked.

"No, but it can't be hard to manage, now can it? It's a fan. I use it when it gets too crowded and stuffy."

Stifling a sigh, Draco pursed his lips. He really shouldn't do such, it made him look much more masculine, which Harry had been told for the last month and a half was a bad thing. Working with Draco had been torture, and if Harry had realized such beforehand, he would have abandoned the whole idea. "Do not under pain of death touch the fan at all tonight. It is not used to fan oneself."

"Then what is it for? You can't possibly mean I'm supposed to just leave it alone? It itches." To prove his point, Harry scratched at the spot on his wrist where the fan hung from a small strap.

Draco slapped his hand away. "Once again, it conveys your approval, or your disdain. You keep doing that and you might find yourself engaged by the end of the night. And I for one would like more than one night to enjoy myself."

With a disgruntled nod, Harry turned away and looked out the window. There was no way that he could carry this off. It was much easier to be a dandy than to pass as a woman. Harry didn't even know why he thought he'd be able to do this. At the moment, all he wanted was his walking stick so he could bang it on the roof of the carriage and signal the driver to move on past the party.

No such luck. Before he knew it, the carriage stopped completely pulled up before a brightly lit house with guests streaming up to the entrance. One of the footmen lowered the stairs and offered his hand to help him out. It was only the pressure of Draco's hand on his back pushing him towards the door that made Harry move.

Once inside, Harry froze. There was something about staring at a crowded ball from the vantage point of the stairs. The room was practically filled to bursting, hot and loud, the bright colors of the women's dresses clashing, and for the first time Harry truly realized that he would be one of those women. His stomach twisted.

Draco's gloved fingers settled on Harry's wrist. "There is nothing enjoyable about spending the evening standing on the stairs, Harrietta. We should find your friend." Looping his arm through Harry's, Draco maneuvered them down the stairs and into the crowd.

Harry wished that he'd been able to catch sight of Sirius before descending into the press of people, but he hadn't, and it was most likely because Sirius had no doubt drawn some unsuspecting chit, or dandy for that matter, out into the gardens or a rarely used parlor down one of the darkened hallways. Harry sighed. Perhaps it was a sign that his whole plan was falling apart; maybe he shouldn't have put so much trust in Sirius.

In nervous apprehension, Harry twisted the fan in his hands in nervous apprehension. The unusual constant weight on his wrist was a distraction from his worry in not being able to locate Sirius. It should have been easy but it wasn't. A sharp rap on his hand from Draco snapped him out of it.

"Stop it. You've signaled to at least three men that you're interested in them. Be careful."

"Men don't actually understand any of that nonsense," Harry snapped. "I'm a perfect example of that."

The calming smile that Draco gave him unnerved Harry even more than how much of a woman he looked when dressed as one. "Now now, Harrietta, you know that proper young ladies don't use such a tone."

"Really? My brother uses it all the time."

"Obviously a sign that your brother is an uncouth ruffian."

Harry smiled. "Ah, but don't forget who exactly is paying for your services."

"Proper young ladies do not speak of such things." Draco's fingers dug into Harry's wrist, but his voice remained light. "Don't you ever listen to me?"

"I try, but right about now I wish that I had never met you, Draconia, dear."

Draco moved them from toward the side of the room, weaving them through the crowd deftly with a minimum of fuss. Harry caught himself wondering just how many times Draco had moved around ballrooms masqueraded as a woman. He was much too good at it.

"Do you seen him?" Draco looked around the room. "You did write to him in order to inform him of the color of your gown, didn't you?"

Harry turned to look at Draco with a startled look on his face. "You were serious about doing so?"

"Harry...etta!"

Harry took a cautious half-step away from Draco. His pinched features were a sure sign that Harry was not going to like the remainder of the conversation. "I've never had to do anything of the sort before!"

Drawing in a deep breath, Draco leaned close. "Of course not, you daft idiot. You were never wearing a dress before." Despite Draco's obvious frustration, Harry was barely able to hear the words, they were whispered so quietly.

Harry scanned the ballroom. He couldn't see much through the crowd, and he was never very tall, but he thought he caught sight of a taller gentleman across the room who had just thrown his head back in a laugh. Harry swore he knew just the way that Sirius tossed his head to attract as much attention as possible and if that was not him, it was a stunning re-enactment. "I think I see him." Even if it wasn't Sirius, Harry still wanted to see who it was.

"Where?"

Harry nodded across the room. "Over there, he's wearing black."

"In case you've failed to notice, dear, quite a few of the men are wearing black."

Harry waved vaguely in the same direction. "He's the tall one."

Fingers once again secure on Harry wrist, Draco hissed in Harry's ear. "I'm going to kill you."

"He's the one talking to the brunette in the maroon dress!" Harry tried to ignore the fact that the people immediately surrounding them were all casting sidelong glances in their direction. He was never leaving his townhouse dressed like this again. Harrietta was going back to the country where she belonged.

Draco's eyes were wide with shock. "You did not just call a dress maroon, did you?" he mouthed.

"But it is."

"No," Draco instructed. "Maroon is not a suitable color for a dress; it could be garnet or ruby, but certainly not maroon. Harry..."

"I can't do this."

As they moved across the room in the direction Harry had pointed, Draco was quietly whispered as fast as he could. "I'm changing your history. You were taught at home by your Aunt Poppy whom we both know has no sense of style at all. She probably never did. Besides, she's been out of society for years, if she was ever properly in society at all. You know absolutely nothing except for..." Draco glanced at him. "What do you know?"

"Horses?"

Draco shook his head. "Something else. Something acceptable."

Harry didn't have time to answer; they'd reached the other side of the ballroom without incident and were interrupted.

"Harrietta? That is you, isn't it?" Sirius had already approached them. "You're just as your brother described, absolutely exquisite."

Harry didn't actually remember writing any such thing in his correspondence let alone anything about his "sister's" features. This no doubt probably explained why Sirius was leaning over Draco's hand though. Offended, Harry twisted the fan in his hands again. It wasn't fair. He looked nice too.

"My Lord Black, I apologize for the confusion, but I am Draconia Sangpur, Harrietta's companion." Draco motioned to Harry.

"Ah, my apologies, ladies." Sirius tilted his head to the side to look at Harry, and Harry tensed. This was the moment, the whole plan was would to come crashing down because Sirius was going to find out the whole thing before it had even properly begun. "Ah, you've your mother's eyes just like your brother. I don't know how I could have made such an unforgivable mistake." Sirius bowed over Harry's hand and brushed his lips over the air above his gloved knuckles.

"Thank you, Lord Black." If Harry looked into Sirius's eyes for a single moment longer he was going to collapse into a fit of laughter. Giddy with relief, he took the safer course, and glanced down at his hands instead, and only looking up when Draco lightly prompted him in the side with his fan. Fashionable or not, Harry was never allowing Draco a fan again. It did, however, bring to Harry's attention the fact that Sirius was offering him his arm though.

"I have a friend whom I would like you to meet, Miss Potter." Sirius leaned in a little, establishing a sense of false intimacy between them. Harry was very familiar with his friend's methods. "Since learning of your arrival, I have not been able to stop lauding your praises to him and now he's most desirous of making your acquaintance. I hope that you don't find my actions too forward."

"Of course not." If Harry had to listen to Sirius speak this way for much longer, he was going to do something rash—his fan to Sirius's eye came to mind. It was only funny when he was an observer watching Sirius speak to ladies this way.

"Harrietta Potter, please allow me to introduce you to Lord Snape."

His hand was taken immediately and black hair fell around it as the man bent to press his lips in perfunctory kiss across Harry's gloved knuckles. What was Sirius thinking introducing him to the man that he professed to hate more than anyone? Had Harry made it sound as if he wished his sister to be pawned off on the first man Sirius happened to come across?

"A pleasure, my lord," Harry squeaked.

If Harry was going to list the things that came to mind upon observing Lord Snape for the first time, it would have to start with Snape's lack of fashion sense. His coat was cut too loose, his hair was too long and it was not even tied back in a queue as was appropriate for such a function. His nose was much too large for his face, and he refused to smile even when being introduced to a lady. "I assure you, the pleasure is all mine." Even his words lacked the proper inflection. Obviously Snape didn't even pretend to acknowledge the most basic of social niceties that the ton thrived upon. It was no doubt that he didn't have many females trying to gain his attention; the type they usually flocked to were the dandies, such as Sirius.

But there was something. Perhaps it was his unfashionable and strong features that made Harry look again, though, most likely it was the unexpectedly cool tone of voice. The people who were attracted to Harry were similar to himself, full of joie de vivre and a penchant for trouble. Just looking at this man, Harry knew that he possessed neither of those things.

The way Snape's attention was focused on him in a way which was in no way proper. A man was not supposed to look at a lady for as long or so appraisingly as he was. Harry himself had been scolded for this time and again, as he invariably made the ladies blush. That was obviously the course of action that he needed to take, but Harry was finding it difficult to get any words out let alone attempt to force a blush.

"You should lead in her in a dance, Snape." Sirius slapped Snape on the back and was rewarded with a level look.

Turning to look at Draco for any clues as to just what he was supposed to do next, Harry was only greeted with a look of abject horror. Sirius must have done something wrong. He needed to smooth this over. "I would be delighted," Harry said.

It was obviously the wrong answer as Draco's look of horror turned on him. It figured that Harry would do something wrong now when there was nothing he could do to right his actions. Snape had offered his arm and Harry's had to accept it and be lead out onto the dance floor.

Just how much trouble Harry had purchased with his hasty agreement was apparent as soon as Snape took him into his arms. It was different practicing with Draco, he would make a mistake and Draco would correct him and they would continue. There was no room to for mistakes now. It was decidedly awkward being led around, and his nerves just made everything worse. He tried to lead which failed and instead led to his trodding all over Snape's toes.

By such time a third grimace had crossed Snape's, Harry was biting his lip and wishing that it would all end. They had been dancing in silence without a word passing through the air between them, Harry focused more on the movement of his feet than on paying proper attention to his partner. A quick glance over at Draco only confirmed how disastrous his dancing was. Draco was hiding his face behind his hand, and Sirius was looking worried. This an accomplishment as the man never looked worried if he could help it, but not one that Harry thought he wanted to be responsible for.

"My lord?" Harry's voice shook.

Arching one eyebrow, Snape tilted his head closer to listen.

"Uh... I don't suppose that you attended the sale at Tattersall's Thursday last? I understand that there was quite the selection of prime horses going up on the block."

This time the misstep was caused by Snape. Harry knew that he couldn't recover, and tripped, forcing Snape to catch him around the waist before they both tumbled to the floor and destroyed Harry as 'Harrietta' socially. Harry could not decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"I think that is quite enough dancing for the evening." Snape led them off the floor, and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. He did not look over at Draco. The last thing he wanted to see was his reaction.

Snape pulled at the sleeves of his coat. "Tattersall's? No. I have not been in the market for any horses of late."

Harry nodded; he was completely focused on not making a fool of himself with his conversation, and allowing Snape to lead him where he willed. "Draconia would not let me attend even though I wanted to go."

"With good reason, Tattersall's is not the place for a gentle young woman."

Somewhere he'd made an enormous mistake, and Harry was fairly certain that it had been the first time the word 'horse' had come from his mouth. "Um, is it not?" He bit his lip and smiled when he turned to look up at Snape. "I've never been to London before, so I didn't know."

"I never would have guessed." Snape coughed into his gloved hand, and Harry had a feeling that he was being laughed at.

He tried to blush, but didn't know how successful he was. "I'm afraid that it's quite obvious that I've spent a great deal of time in the country."

"I jest. Forgive me." Severus's smile wasn't pleasant either, in the grand scheme of things, but Harry found himself smiling back regardless.

"Papa!" Scorpius flew into Draco's arms the moment they entered the house.

Frowning, Draco looked around. "Where is Aunt Poppy?"

"I'm here and have been trying to get Scorpius into bed all evening." A tall woman, Poppy had an air of authority that most assumed came from her height, but Harry knew better; she would have been a fabulous grande dame had she any inclination for it. Instead, she'd buried herself in the country at a fairly young age after marrying Harry's uncle who'd been much older. When it became obvious that infants weren't in her future, she'd settled down to work with the local vicar and his wife taking care of the children in the area. "He's been such a good boy, otherwise."

"But then I have been here to read to him at night, haven't I, ma puce?" Draco brushed a lock of hair that had fallen across Scorpius's eyes out of his face. Harry watched, uncomfortable, as gloved fingers brushed through the gentle curls of hair. "Allons-y. To bed with you."

Shaking her head, Aunt Poppy watched the two Malfoy men climb the stairs, one in a stunning evening gown of pale blue silk, the other with two fingers stuck in his mouth and his head resting on a pale, bare shoulder. "I do not understand that man." She shifted her gaze to Harry and looked at his clothing. "Then again, you've been a surprise too. No matter what your uncle did, I never had to worry about him wanting to try on my gowns."

Harry hung his head. "Well, if it is any consolation, I don't believe I was thinking clearly when I started this plot. I cannot do this. It will never work, it's impossible. I am sure that Draco thinks so as well, but he's determined to have his fun."

Gentle fingers touched his wrist, and it occurred to Harry that to anyone who wasn't aware of the goings on inside the house were to see, they'd see this was nothing more than an aunt trying to bestow comfort on a girl making her debut. It wasn't something that Poppy would have offered and he could have accepted in any other circumstances, and Harry felt remarkably grateful for the disguise in just that moment.

"Had she lived, I would have sent for you as her chaperone, you know."

Poppy nodded, turning her face away. "You should go upstairs and take off that gown. Don't forget to leave it over the chair so it can be brushed out in the morning."

"Yes, Aunt Poppy." With a rakish wink, Harry leaned over and brushed his lips across her cheek.

"Off with you, before I call on my friends and tell them what you are up to."

Harry bolted up the stairs like a hoyden, looking nowhere near as proper, demure, or graceful as Draco had. At the landing he turned. "Don't think I don't know that you would love the scandal." Lifting his skirt above his ankles, Harry managed to make it up the rest of the steps without incident. He strode down the hallway to his rooms at the end, the only place he was still allowed the creature comforts of being a man.

Harry groaned and pulled away from the hands that were shaking his shoulder. "Go away! I'm still sleeping!"

"Up! Maintenant! Get up right this instant! There are things that we must discuss."

With another groan, Harry rolled over, glancing over the side of the bed until his gaze landed on Draco. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

Draco, for his part glanced heavenward before settling on the edge of the bed, brushing his skirts out. "Now then. First things first." He looked over his shoulder and stared at Harry, his features demure, but his grey eyes flashing with anger. Harry couldn't think how he did it, nor did he want to know. "What were you thinking waltzing with Snape? You've not been given permission."

"I've danced the waltz all the time." Harry covered his mouth with the back of his hand as he yawned. "I'm supposed to give the man asking permission. I know I didn't do it properly, but it wasn't too terribly bad, though it was hard not to lead."

"You dolt. Miss Harrietta Potter has not been given permission to dance the waltz with anyone. Do the words social disaster have any meaning to you?"

"Why do I need permission?"

Draco ignored him. "Did you read a single book that I gave you over the last few months?"

"Of course not." Harry flicked the covers off of him and stood, making his way to the armoire; only to open it to find it filled with nothing but dresses and female accoutrements. He shrieked. "Where the bloody hell are my trousers! My shirts! My cravats!" He whirled back to look glare at Draco.

"Packed up in trunks and stored." Draco was staring at his nails. "I told you before we left for Lady Bulstrode's ball last night that I was going to have the staff make some adjustments. That was one of them. If you're going to be a lady of the ton then you must act the part. At all times." Draco looked up. "Just be glad that I've nothing to say about what you choose to sleep in. Or not, as the case may be."

Muttering an oath under his breath, Harry moved across the room until the large wingback chair by the fire blocked him from Draco's view.

"You are being ridiculous." Draco stood and walked over to the armoire and started opening drawers, pulling out even more feminine articles of clothing. "We need to get you dressed and then we need to determine how to go about righting the mess that you've made. And after that," Draco paused, "you will spend the afternoon in the front parlor reading those books on the proper deportment for young ladies."

Harry growled, but gave in to Draco's ministrations, only flinching when the laces of the modified corset he was forced to wear in order to give the impression of cleavage were drawn tight instead rather than loudly cursing the man he'd hired to turn him into a girl. Within a half hour Harry found himself sitting at a vanity that had been situated in the corner where his tallboy used to be while Draco arranged his hair.

"It's still too short, but it will do." He stepped back, and Harry twisted on the stool. "We're expected downstairs for breakfast." Draco waited by the door for Harry to pass him.

The good thing about breakfast, the thing that Harry appreciated the most, was that he could pile his plate as high as he wanted from the sideboard and drink coffee. Some of the very few concessions that he had managed to wheedle out of his task master over the last month. If he had to watch how much he ate when there might be company then at least, he had argued, he should be allowed a filling breakfast with coffee.

Ladies, he had been told, did not drink coffee.

Luckily Harry had had an unassailable answer for that. Everyone in the house knew that Harry was in fact, not a lady, so no one would blink at Harry sipping a cup of coffee instead of tea over his kedgeree and kippers. He had barely resisted sticking out his tongue in a most unladylike and juvenile way at Draco when he won.

Breakfast the day after Lady Bulstrode's ball, however, was not as rewarding.

"I need your help," Draco said as soon as he sat down at the table to Harry's right across from Aunt Poppy.

"With what, dear?" Poppy smiled and watched as Scorpius -- who shouldn't rightly have been at the table to start with, but Harry also had to give something up if he wanted his morning coffee, and that had been peace -- squirmed out of his seat next to Poppy and ran around the table to climb into the chair next to his father. The only footman retained for the season moved to take the box they'd set up for the little boy so he could reach the table and deftly shifted it and Scorpius until he was situated. By the time everything was settled, Draco was cutting a kipper into small pieces for his son.

Harry huffed and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling and trying not to groan. It wasn't the first time he had debated if coffee really was worth losing the peace that would have been Scorpius eating his breakfast in the kitchen with Cook.

"Your nephew is hopeless when it comes to matters of decorum, which I am sure you already know and realize there is very little that we can do to remedy the fact." Draco shot Harry a scathing glance. "We have much to do to repair the damage already done to Harrieta's position. Over the last few days since we've moved into residence in London, I've been trying to make appropriate contacts, but I've yet to receive the introductions necessary to correspond directly with any of the patronesses. Harrietta has never been to London before and Harry... Sometimes I find it hard to believe that he was ever received by any hostess at all."

Poppy nodded. "He has a way about him. I'm sure that he received so many invitations just because he wore his coat so well."

Harry scowled at them both. "I am sitting here, you realize? And as for my coats, they've been rudely packed up in trunks."

"Don't sulk, dear. Ladies, unlike gentleman, do not sulk. It is unbecoming." Poppy turned away from him and looked back at Draco.

Harry hated everyone in the morning, except for the footman. He liked the footman. Mostly because he was currently refilling his coffee cup.

"Yes, well," Draco said, "Harry danced the waltz last night. His choice of partner is another thing which I must discuss with him, but first, we must decide what to do before disaster descends, Harrietta is ostracized by the leaders of the ton, and we all find ourselves back in the country."

Poppy frowned, and Harry hoped that this wouldn't mean he was going to get two lectures instead of just one. "I don't understand."

"I haven't yet been able to secure permission for Harrietta to dance the waltz," Draco said.

"Oh." Poppy sipped her tea. "Yes, I see, but there isn't anything for you to worry about. I took care of that weeks ago. For you as well. I wasn't completely out of society, you know."

Draco blinked, and Harry had an overwhelming urge to laugh at the look on his face. He probably would have except it was at that moment that Scorpius decided to throw a piece of toast at him. The little scamp had a decent arm and the buttered side of the bread landed against Harry's forehead.

"Scorpius!" Draco immediately turned and looked at his son disapprovingly. "You mustn't do that. I've told you that it is impolite to throw food, especially at one's host or hostess."

Harry peeled the bread off his forehead and glared when Poppy started laughing.

"What? Isn't it bad enough that I have to have breakfast while wearing a dress, with my hair pinned so tight that my skull aches, and with a toddler?"

Poppy handed him a knife expertly polished until it was gleaming. He could also see a portion of his face. Particularly, his forehead if he angled it just right. Right in the middle was a lightning bolt shaped smear of butter.

"You look rather like your horse, Nimbus," was all his aunt had to say.

"So, what did you think?"

"She'll do." Severus looked up from his paper. "Are you sure that she knows of her brother's preference?"

"I don't know how she couldn't." Black said. "Harry made quite the scandal last year. The gossip has died down, but the entire ton knows it."

"Young Miss Potter doesn't seem the type to pay much attention to gossip." Severus tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair. "It’s her first time in the city and her first season. She may not be aware. If she doesn't, things might prove difficult."

"How could she not, Harry's very open about it. Not the wisest thing for him to be, but nonetheless he is." Black threw back the rest of his whisky and grinned in what Severus supposed was a vain attempt to seem nonchalant. From the moment he had approached, Severus knew that Black's goal was to get the little baggage off his hands as soon as possible.

"I shall see if I can get her to disclose the information to me. But even if she doesn't know the relationship might still behoove me; after all, she will eventually find out about her brother. Someone in Town will take great joy in telling her of the fact, I'm sure." Severus's lips twisted into a smile.

Black shuddered. "Don't do that, it's rather disturbing." He shook his shoulders. "But if you're clever, Snape, you'll be there to support her during this revelation."

"If she doesn't already know, of course."

"Exactly."

Black poured another measure of whisky from the bottle he was holding in his right hand to the glass he held in his left into his glass. The liquid sloshed over the edge and onto Severus's boot. "Though, you know, the quickest way to resolve the situation would be to ruin her."

"The idea bears consideration."

"You could combine the two together and then there really is no way that she could resist you." More whisky sloshed from the glass onto Severus's boot.

Severus glared. "Be gone, mongrel."

Draco snapped the book of watercolors closed. "Flowers?"

"I couldn't think! It was the first girlish thing that came to me! How was I supposed to know that he liked flowers and horticulture!" Harry slumped down in his seat, spreading his legs wide.

Hitting Harry in the back of the head with the book as he passed in his pacing, Draco spun on his heel and crossed his arms. "Scorpius, Daddy is about to be very upset. Cover your ears."

Scorpius dropped the block he was playing with and covered his ears, his eyes wide.

Harry rolled his eyes and missed seeing the book of watercolors come flying directly at his head. Luckily it fell a little short and only clipped his chin a little. "What the--"

Draco was louder. "--Bloody hell were you thinking? We had this prepared for a reason. You are not a young gentleman anymore who can get by with a charming turn of phrase and well-fitting clothes. You are supposed to be playing the part of a well-bred lady who has spent her life in the country. Now close your legs, be quiet, listen and learn how we are going to fix this mess."

"Men aren't supposed to know about flowers. It's unmanly." Harry straightened and sat properly, though he kept the mulish look on his face and refused to say more.

When Aunt Poppy floated into the room, she gave Harry's curls a pat and kissed his cheek. "Now none of that, or you'll never catch a husband."

"I don't want a husband!" Harry roared over Poppy's laughter.

Scorpius burst into tears and there was no mistaking Draco's sharp in-drawn breath.

"You deal with him. He has to learn the scientific names of these. If that doesn't work, try to teach him the finer points of impeccably detailed watercolors of flowers." Draco bent and picked up his son from the floor, running his fingers over Scorpius's blond curls.

"Is there a reason for the rush?" Poppy paused. "You know that if we hired a nanny—"

Draco shook his head. "Just one more unnecessary person knowing about the abysmal plan of Potter's. And the rush is due to the fact that your nephew has promised to be in for Lord Snape this afternoon. There must be a way that we can salvage the situation. And if all else fails, teach him to faint."

Draco strode out of the room in a swirl of skirts.

Snape looked around the conservatory, his hands held behind his back. It was remarkably extensive. From what he had heard about Potter, he hadn't expected much of anything at all when Miss Potter's companion suggested that they go out to look at some rather unique examples of flowers that the conservatory contained.

Miss Potter, for her part, seemed rather lost.

"Looking for something in particular, Miss Potter?" Severus held his hand to the side so she could pass in front of him.

She looked startled and glanced up at him through her lashes; a rather endearing trick considering, and one that looked entirely unstudied. "Oh, I was just trying to remember where the Rosa Canina was. Maybe the gardener moved it to the back."

"Being a flower enthusiast as you are, do you not come out here often?"

Harrietta lifted one shoulder. "I think that I've led you astray, my Lord. I enjoy painting flowers; however, the conservatory is not the garden that I am familiar with. Most of my work has been done in the country on my brother's estate."

Severus paused and looked at a small display of lavender. "You have surprised me. You seem much more comfortable out here."

She shrugged her shoulder once more. "Mrs Sangpur can be quite a fright when she's determined. She was absolutely determined that everything go right the other night."

"Your first ball, if I am not mistaken." Severus turned so he could look at this girl that he was thinking of tricking down the aisle. He hadn't actually really looked at the chit yet. Her hair was too short – no woman should ever wear it like that – and it was messy, the curls falling all out of order even though every sign of an impeccable arrangement earlier in the day was evident, and this on top of features that were just a bit too square.

She bit her lip and shook her head. Severus had to admit that her mannerisms had some appeal though. Lacking the polish of a simpering town miss, she was quite tolerable, in fact. "Correct, my Lord. I was expecting my brother to escort me, but he was called away to the Continent."

"Potter was never one to think ahead from all accounts. After all, he left you to the careless mercies of Lord Black."

Her green eyes flashed in anger. "How dare you! Harry has always been quite capable of taking care of himself; he's been doing it for quite some time."

With her hands on her hips and her feet set firmly apart, Severus thought that Miss Potter would make a much better Mr Potter. That she had been trying to lead the night before was just another point. It was a shame that she was female, Severus had always liked spirit.

"I offer my apologies. I believe I heard something about your parents' tragic deaths."

The one feature that he couldn't quite look away from widened. Black was right; her eyes were brilliant. Perhaps he should wait for her brother to get back and pursue another female for his bride instead. It wouldn't do to lust after his brother-in-law.

"How much do you know about it?" Miss Potter's voice sounded rather strained. It must be a delicate topic and Severus wondered if he should have been more considerate in how he approached the topic.

It was rather too late, however, to be regretting such an accident. "Not much. Just that it was a carriage accident and all passengers died. I remember something about a third passenger, though I can't seem to recall any details about it at the moment."

Miss Potter's hand rose to her mouth. "I… I don't feel very well." Her hand was shaking, and her eyes closed. Severus swore under his breath. Black had said nothing about the girl being prone to fainting. She started to fall back and Severus barely managed to catch her. Lifting her in his arms, he made his way out of the conservatory and back into the house. He had no idea how he was going to explain this.

One thing was clear, however. Miss Potter should certainly lay off the sweets.

"She what?" Sirius asked.

Snape laid his cards down on the table. "Fainted. Didn't think she'd be susceptible to fits of the vapors."

"Neither did I." Sirius scowled. "Are you sure?"

Snape nodded. "I was forced to carry her in from the conservatory."

Sirius blinked at him. "Wait a moment. You carried her in? Was her companion there?"

"She chose to stay inside. Claimed the sun would be bad for her skin. Is it of any import?"

"Yes! You can claim that you compromised her."

Snape shook his head. "A very thorough companion your brother hired. She sent a footman to follow discreetly behind us. I didn't even realize he was there until I had the chit in my arms."

"Damn." Sirius picked up the new hand Snape dealt. "How was she formed?"

"What?"

"You know. Nice?" Sirius waved his cards as he outlined how a woman should be shaped to his mind.

"Do you ever stop thinking with your groin, Black?"

"Well you don't inspire anything."

Snape snorted. "You have no idea how much that pleases me. What are the chit's plans for tonight?"

Sirius looked down at the cards in his hands. The deck was rigged. It had to be. "The theater. I can't remember what they're going to see."

"They're going to be seen, not to watch. I do hope that this friend of yours is well known and not some woman that you found at a boudoir."

Sirius glared. "She's Lady W. Had a bit of a stint with her last season."

"Even better, the ton gossip. Will you be arranging for her to speak to Harrietta?"

"If I don't I'll only have to keep an eye on her longer." Sirius laughed. "What was Harry thinking when he put me in charge of his sister?"

"As I told the girl this morning, he doesn't think."

Sirius coughed. "You said that to her? You are trying to get the girl to marry you. I don't think that insulting the girl's only family will help."

"I intend to compromise her, not woo her with fine words, Black. Remember our plan. Whether or not she's insulted is beside the point."

"I would like to keep Harry as a friend at the end of all this," Sirius said under his breath.

Snape shrugged. "I would rather not meet the man at all. Do you think that Miss Potter would be adverse to spending time in Yorkshire and not seeing her brother again?"

"How am I supposed to know? You should give Harry a chance, he's not that bad. Rather dashing actually." Sirius moved his cards around. They did not get any better.

"I'm sure."

"You could have told me that you caused a scandal last season," Draco said from the doorway.

Harry unclasped the necklace from around his neck. "I didn't think that it was of any import."

"The whole ton knows that you prefer the company of men."

Harry looked over his shoulder. "Do you know just how many men prefer the company of men in this town?"

"Not that many, I'm sure." Draco sniffed.

"Wrong." Harry paused and counted on his fingers, opening and closing his hand as he did so. "Quite a few actually. Mostly they prefer young, unsuspecting blighters that they find in the country. Poor sods. So I kissed the hostess' husband. We'd been lovers for over half the season. It wasn't my fault that the man had to get married."

"It was his bride's first soiree!"

"And it was a bloody success! They talked about it for weeks after."

Harry stood and Draco moved to help him out of his dress. "You realize that what you've done impacts the way Harrietta will be accepted into society." Draco frowned at him.

"I suppose."

Draco sighed. "You realize that you should have been shocked when you were told."

"No."

Harry fidgeted as Draco started to unlace his corset. The thing was bloody uncomfortable and all attempts to convince Draco that it wasn't necessary were ignored.

"We're going to have to do something. I just wish I knew what." Draco tugged at the laces.

Harry pushed the scrap of silk and whalebone down, breathing in deeply for the first time in hours. "I don't see what the bother is all about. No one heard her tell me. I'll be shocked next time."

Draco put his fingers to his temples. "There won't be a next time. Your reaction will be known when all the ladies get their morning chocolate."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tonight, the ladies will tell their maids any tasty tidbits they've picked up over the course of their evening. Tomorrow morning the maids will exchange stories, and when they bring in their mistresses' breakfast, they'll tell what they heard." Draco rested his fists on his hips and glared at him. "Don't you know how gossip works, Harry?"

"Never thought about it."

Harry reached around and started plucking pins out of his hair. "So, I suppose this means that we have to come up with a plan?"

"Yes." Draco batted his hands away and started to deftly pull pins out and set them on the table. "I suppose that we can start a rumor of our own."

"You said that the lady's maids exchange stories in the morning."

"Yes."

"You're my lady's maid, it won't work."

"I should have given this up when I had the chance." Draco shook his head. "But if we can arrange for you to faint when you happen across that young man you dallied with, then any spectators will spread the gossip. We don't have to do a thing. Or more accurately, I don't have to do a thing."

"Faint?" Harry grimaced.

"You've done it once. Rather well, I heard." Draco grinned.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't want to see Justin again. We didn't part on good terms."

"I didn't think you did." Draco rolled his eyes. "You shredded his reputation, his wife didn't speak to him for a month, and his father practically disowned him."

"How do you know all this?"

The look on Draco's face let Harry know just how stupid Draco thought he was at that moment. "Remember how I said the gossip would be all over Town by morning?"

Harry nodded.

"It was all over the theater before we even left. Along with the full story of exactly what happened."

Harry sighed. "So I have to faint."

"I'll bring my smelling salts."

Harry wrinkled his nose. He hated the smell of the damn things. "It's not like I'm really fainting."

"But you have to put on a good show." Draco turned to leave the room. "Oh, and Harry, don't fall asleep with your stockings on again."

"Shut it."

Of course, it would happen that the next time Harry saw Justin was during a dance with Snape two nights later.

Snape didn't seemed pleased about his fainting while in the middle of a waltz, or at least that's the impression Harry had as he started to slip toward the floor. If he was lucky Snape would catch him again and keep him away from that horrid bottle of salts Draco had tucked in the tiny silk bag dangling from his wrist.

Harry felt himself being carried off the dance floor. Snape's arms were quite strong, and surprisingly muscular, not an altogether uncomfortable place to be. If only the man wasn't interested in Harrietta, Harry thought ruefully.

The gentle rocking motion of being carried passed, and he was set down on what felt like a stone bench. He must have been taken outside. Good. Draco could handle the explanations of why he fainted, he'd rather not.

Harry coughed as a horrid stench reached his nose. Snape wasn't supposed to bring him to Draco and his smelling salts! He opened his eyes and saw Snape slipping a bottle into his evening coat.

"I thought it might be prudent to keep a bottle of smelling salts with me since you seem to be possessed of delicate sensibilities."

Might as well play his part. "The last person I suspected to see here tonight was that man..." Harry choked a little for effect. He really was starting to understand how to act a bit better.

"I understand, I assure you. Had I known that Finch-Fletchley would be in attendance, I wouldn't have suggested this particular party."

"It's quite all right." Snape had his hand on Harry's back; it was quite warm where the tips of Snape's ungloved fingers touched his skin. Harry wondered if this would be considered scandalous. He obviously couldn't judge, he hadn't realized the extent of the one scandal he had caused last season. He leaned toward Snape.

"I do hope that you can forgive me, my lady," Snape said smoothly. He moved closer and Harry's breath caught. It had been a very long time since Harry had kissed someone. It was highly inappropriate for a woman to initiate a kiss, even he knew that. Snape lowered his head. Harry closed his eyes, his lips parting slightly, waiting for those lips to press against his.

It never came.

"Oh. I didn't realize that anyone was here. I'm so sorry."

Harry turned his head to look at the young lady who had interrupted his almost kiss. He recognized her immediately. Red hair done up fashionably and chocolate brown eyes. Ronald had described his sister to him ceaselessly, most likely trying to secure a good marriage for her. Harry had to admit that she was quite pretty as far as ladies went.

Her companion was looking at them curiously. Her blonde hair was falling down and she was biting her lip in nervously. Harry wondered just what Snape and he had interrupted by being in this rather secluded part of the gardens.

He barely heard Snape talking to the two ladies. Why had he brought them out here? The balcony made sense. One of the other rooms made sense. But here they were was surrounded by shrubbery; it was the type of place that Harry would bring someone for a quick dalliance. This wasn't good.

He stood quickly and smoothed out his dress. "Miss Weasley?"

She smiled and nodded her head in acknowledgement.

"I happen to know your brother, Ronald. He's my brother's man of affairs."

"You must be Harrietta Potter. My brother has mentioned you in passing. I'm Ginevra Weasley, and this," she motioned with her hand, "is my dear friend, Lady Luna Scamander."

"My father is Lord Rook. Xenophilius Lovegood."

Harry nodded. He knew of the family; they were very bookish and had a reputation for being interested in the bizarre. "Did something happen?"

Lady Scamander lifted her hand to her hair.

"There's an amazing fountain and we wanted to go see it," Miss Weasley said. "Unfortunately, Lady Scamander slipped when walking down the stairs, and her coiffure came loose. We were looking for somewhere to fix it without anyone knowing. It's somewhat embarrassing."

Harry looked around for Snape, but he was nowhere in sight.

"Lord Snape left. He said that you had fainted and that he had brought you here to recover without the eyes of the ton staring at you. We volunteered to bring you back inside." Miss Weasley was giving Harry a rather calculating look.

Lady Scamander was biting her lip again, but nodded at what Miss Weasley was saying. She looked vaguely familiar.

"If you'll give us a moment to fix Luna's hair, then we'll be off."

"Of course." Harry brushed his fringe out of his eyes. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Lady Scamander held out some pins. "Oh, if you could hold these." She sat down on the bench and Miss Weasley moved behind her. Harry watched in fascination as Miss Weasley brushed her fingers through Lady Scamander's hair. She arranged each piece carefully, taking pins from Harry's outstretched hand to secure them. He had the feeling that he was intruding on something more intimate than it appeared.

As the last pin was put into place, he watched Miss Weasley's hand hover a breath away from the curls that were escaping at the nape of Lady Scamander's neck. He turned his face away.

"All done," Miss Weasley said.

Lady Scamander was looking at him or through him or something with her head tilted to the side. "Are you ready to go back inside?"

Harry nodded.

Miss Weasley studied him for a moment. "I think that under the circumstances you may call us Ginevra and Luna."

Luna smiled with a faraway look in her eyes. "Although she prefers Ginny."

"Thank you. And you may call me Harrietta." Harry paused. "Although I prefer to be called Harry."

Draco was going to kill him.

"You must forgive me." Ginny said. "I convinced Ronald to let me come with him."

Harry looked over at where Draco was showing Ronald the embroidery he was working on. That man had it bad. One meeting earlier in the week and he was willing to stare at embroidery patterns. "It's not a problem at all, Ginevra. He just needed to discuss a matter of my brother's investments with me."

Ginny leaned forward in her chair. "Oh, of course." She paused and took a deep breath. "You haven't told anyone that Luna slipped walking down the stairs have you?"

"No, of course not." Draco didn't count.

"I was just wondering. You see, Luna's husband is rather overprotective and doesn't like her going anywhere out of his sight. I think that he's afraid that some young rake will try to take advantage of her." Ginny smiled. "She has a rather dreamy countenance, you understand, and gets lost in flights of fancy from time to time. People think that she's dimwitted, but she's not. Not at all."

Harry straightened. He had never heard someone defend a friend with quite that level of vehemence before. "Lord Scamander is rather on in years, is he not?"

She sighed. "He has a daughter even older than we. But no son." Ginny's eyes narrowed. "It's the only thing that matters to him."

The pieces started to fall into place in Harry's head. "And you do not want Luna to be given any trouble over what happened at the party."

"No, I wouldn't."

"How long have you known her for?"

"A very long time." Ginny smiled. "Our fathers are friends; we used to spend part of our summers at their manor."

"Is that where the two of you became... close?"

Ginny bit her lip. Harry wondered if she had picked up the habit from Luna or the other way around. "I know about your brother, everyone does. So I assume that you've guessed about Luna and I."

Harry nodded.

"Please don't tell anyone. My father will call me back home, and Luna will be left all alone."

"Of course not. I have no problem with my brother's choices." Harry glanced quickly over at Draco. "Though I'd prefer that it didn't get make the morning gossip rounds."

"I would never. I promise. And Luna, she likes your brother. He danced with her at her debut three years ago." Ginny bit her lip again. "You aren't going to tell Ron are you? He'd be livid. He thought that he was in love with her two summers ago and proposed. Luna was as gentle and firm as she could be in her refusal, but it is ultimately why she agreed to Scamander's suit."

So that was the mysterious girl that Ronald had been mooning over. Harry glanced over at where Draco was flipping through a book. Ronald was looking over his shoulder, his hands primly held behind his back. That man was not lucky in love. It was obvious that he was quickly falling for Draco, but Draco wasn't exactly wife material either. Widowed yes, female, no.

"If there is anything that I may do for you, Harry, you must let me know."

Harry nodded and sat back as Draco and Ronald approached the sitting area. "I hope you two ladies won't mind if I steal Miss Potter away for a moment."

Draco and Ginny politely nodded their heads and Harry stood to lead Ronald out of the room.

"She has a female lover."

"Draco, you were only with her for only five minutes," Harry said. "You couldn't have possibly discovered that in that time."

Draco looked over Harry's riding habit, checking each of the buttons. "Wrong. I can and I did. It was obvious. That and I was listening to your conversation."

Harry blanched. "Did Ronald hear?"

He shook his head and picked up the hat from the dressing table. "No. I doubt he even listened to one word I was saying. He was trying to see if he could look down my dress." Draco settled the hat on Harry's head at the perfect angle.

Harry scoffed. "There isn't anything to see. You're as flat as they come." Draco poked him with a pin. "Ow!"

"Enough of that. Lord Snape will be here to pick you up soon. Whatever you do, don't let the man carry you off to some secluded location. I hear that he's looking for a wife and isn't above using less than honorable means of securing one." Draco shook a pin at him.

"If you remember, you were the one who told me to faint. I don't know why you're blaming me for being dragged out to the gardens."

"I told you to faint when you saw Finch-Fletchley."

"Which I did." Harry didn't bother to hide his annoyance.

"I did not instruct you to do so while you were dancing. You could have waited."

"I don't see why it's such a bother."

"Are you addled?" Draco shook his head. "Of course you are. You could have been compromised. Then think of the scandal when it comes out that you aren't really Harrietta Potter but Harry Potter. I doubt that someone expecting a wife will be satisfied with a man."

"In order to compromise me he has to 'take advantage' of me." Harry grinned.

"You do realize that to the ton ravishing you could be as innocent as a peck on the cheek in a secluded garden. It's the secluded bit that compromises you, not what you do. And regardless, that is no better. You would be discovered and all would be lost."

Harry's grin faltered. "Then why are you allowing him to spend so much time with me?"

"Because it's clear that you think he's attractive." Draco stepped back and hummed. "You'll do."

"I do not!" Pounding his fist on the table wasn't nearly as effective a sight when encased in the feminine gloves Harry was wearing. He stood and stormed out of the door.

Draco moved out the door after him much more gracefully. "Fine, you don't. Explain why you almost let him kiss you in the gardens the other night."

Harry turned on his heel and headed down the stairs.

"And don't think that I didn't tell the groom to put the sidesaddle on Nimbus either," Draco called down the stairs. "I don't know how you thought you were going to get away with riding astride."

Harry turned around and gaped as Scorpius ran past him (though he supposed that running was rather a subjective term) into Draco's arms.

"Do I have to climb up on that thing?" Snape glared at his valet Lupin.

Lupin smirked. "You do if you expect to take Miss Potter riding in the park this afternoon. As you arranged."

"I don't want to go riding in the park."

Sighing, Lupin brushed off Snape's riding coat. "Looking petulant has never suited you. If you expect to marry the girl then you have to take her riding."

Snape held his arms out so that Lupin could put the coat on. "Why?"

"Because it's what's done." Lupin circled him and brushed an invisible bit of something off of him. "Neither does sulking."

"Damned foolish idea if you ask me."

"Then it's a good that no one asked you, isn't it?"

Snape's lips thinned. "Servants aren't supposed to talk back."

Lupin couldn't help the bark of laughter. "You don't pay me enough to keep my mouth closed."

"Where did you get this monstrosity?" Snape tugged at the hem of his coat. "It is too short and the color is obnoxious."

Shrugging, Lupin readjusted the line of the coat. "You needed new riding clothes, so I went and ordered you some. The tailor had your measurements on file and I thought that red would look rather dashing on you."

"Red is not dashing. Green is dashing."

"You're too dark to wear green."

Snape glared.

"I don't suppose you've considered what you'll do with the girl once you've married her."

"Deposit her in Yorkshire." Snape paced away.

"And the heir you so desperately need? That is why you're doing this after all."

He didn't answer. Snape stopped and stared at the black Arabian that was being led toward him. "That is not my horse."

Lupin crossed his arms. "It is now. This is Bolt. I took the privilege of going to Tattersall's and purchasing you a horse that wasn't about to die."

"I didn't need a new horse."

"Just like you didn't need a new riding coat." Lupin crossed his arms. "You said the girl was interested in horses, why not impress her, my Lord?"

"Because she's a girl, and once I've married her I'll have no need to impress her." The sarcasm was obvious. Snape approached the horse warily. "Besides I believe in starting as I mean to go on,"

"He won't hurt you." Lupin scoffed and grabbed the reins and patted the horse's neck. "Go on, get up. I know you can ride."

"Which does not mean that it is an activity that I enjoy in any way, shape or form." He put a toe in one stirrup and hoisted himself up. "I'm never giving you free reign to do what you want again, Lupin."

"Then it seems that you won't be eating for quite some time. It's not as if you can be bothered to remember."

Snape snorted. "Perhaps I should look for a valet with less lip."

"Perhaps I should look for a Lord who isn't afraid of a damn horse." Lupin slapped Bolt on his hindquarters and watched as he reared and took off down the path at a gallop.

He looked over at the groom who was snickering into his hand. "What?"

"He's going to kill you when he gets back."

Lupin shrugged. "Then he'll have to pull his own boots off. I'm sure he'd rather resurrect me than do that."

"Is that why you always order them too small?"

Lupin grinned. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Draco, how am I supposed to sit on that?"

"Like a lady."

"There is no way that I'll be able to stay on." Harry stared at the saddle incredulously.

"You are the one who wanted to ride."

"Of course I want to ride; a normal horse, with a normal saddle, in normal riding clothes. This," Harry tugged at his riding jacket, "is not normal."

"Be glad your horse is trained for side saddle or you would have to have another there as well. This is normal if you are a lady, and as much as I hate to tell you this, right now everyone thinks that you're a lady." The grin on Draco's face belied the sharpness of the comment.

Harry creased his brow. "How am I supposed to get mount?"

"Wait for Lord Snape. He will lift you up into the saddle. Don't go too fast, you might lose control of the horse."

"Which wouldn't happen if I could ride normally." Harry paced and glared back at Draco over his shoulder.

"You are not riding for exercise. That is done in the morning." Draco shook his head. "I cannot believe that such a horse enthusiast as yourself has never ridden in the Park at the fashionable hour. You will ride sidesaddle and that is that."

Harry slapped his riding crop against his thigh. "Sirius would never say that to me."

Draco pursed his lips together and turned toward the exit of the stables. "I was going to tell you a trick I've picked up, but since you insist on being vulgar, I think that I'll let you figure it out on your own."

"That's not fair!"

Draco didn't turn around. He was still holding Scorpius on his hip as Harry watched the two of them walk away. Harry turned to his horse again and could have sworn he heard Draco laughing.

He took the reins and started to lead the horse toward the yard of the stables where he was supposed to meet Lord Snape. He was debating switching the saddles over himself when Severus brought his horse to a halt in before of him.

It was settled. He was in love.

Thick, slick black hair and burning black eyes. The muscles of his legs standing out, perfectly defined and strong, powerful; all lean flesh and a powerful chest. Harry had never wanted anything more.

If that horse had been up for sale at Tattersall's and Harry had missed it because of this mad idea of his, he'd have to do himself in.

Harry dragged his eyes away from the horse and focused on its rider. Snape belonged on that steed. The tan suede of his riding breeches looked soft to the touch, and Harry wanted to reach out and stroke his hand down that thigh. The red riding jacket sat snug across his shoulders, pulling against his shoulder blades as he tried to keep his horse in check. His hair was tied back out of his face for once, and his eyes stood out, the blue-black of his irises blending into the black of his pupils. His gloved hands were clenched around the reins. He presented a powerful picture, and if Harry had been really interested in painting he would have just found what he wanted his first portrait to be.

Snape swung down and approached him. Harry breathed in deeply and sighed.

"Are you all right?" One of those eyebrows arched upwards.

Swallowing with difficulty, Harry nodded. "That is a beautiful horse."

Snape's lips lifted in a slight smile, the first one Harry had seen. "Your comments about Tattersall's were inspiring."

"He's new?" Damn it.

Snape nodded. "May I help you up into your saddle, Miss Potter?"

If Harry opened his mouth now he'd end up offering to buy the horse, so he just tilted his head in a slight nod. Or at least that is what he hoped he did. The only consolation he had was that Snape looked much better on it than he would. Now if he could have horse and rider….

Harry couldn't actually feel Snape's hands on his waist, and he wasn't comfortable with the way his feet were dangling beneath him, so he placed his hands on Snape's shoulders to balance himself and tried not to clench his fingers. Snape's muscles tensed and relaxed under his fingers as he was settled into place.

He came back to himself once he was settled on Nimbus though. The sidesaddle was not remotely as stable as a regular saddle. He tightened his knees to get his balance, but there was no horse between them and the horn merely pulled him askew; he resisted throwing his arms around his horse's neck. If a woman could ride like this, then a seasoned rider like himself definitely could. Harry bit his lip. Perhaps he shouldn't have told Draco that he didn't need to be shown how to ride a horse.

Pressing his lips together, he tried to determine out how to make a horse move from this position. He leaned and pushed his heel against its flank, but nothing worked. He started to slip off the saddle, he could feel it.

Strong arms caught him before he tumbled to the ground. Somehow he always ended up in those arms. "Thank you."

"I was under the impression that you were a seasoned rider."

Harry bit his lip. "I am, I've just never ridden side---" He stopped. The urge to slap his palm against his forehead had never been stronger. "I mean, uh, I haven't ridden sidesaddle since before my parents' death. My brother only taught me how to ride astride."

Snape snorted. "Yes, your brother does seem the type to do so. You're very fond of him, I take it?"

Harry nodded. What else was he supposed to do?

"Would it pain you terribly if you had to live far away from him?"

Where was this going? "Over the past years, I haven't seen him as much as I would like to, but I suppose if I have to, then I could manage."

Snape seemed happy with that answer and dropped his hands from Harry's arms. "Would you like to try again? I could lead your horse until you can determine the commands again."

"Very much so." Anything to have those hands on him again.

It took a few false starts, but Harry eventually managed to command his horse adequately. Their ride went smoothly until Sirius drove up next to him in his phaeton. Nimbus spooked, and Harry found himself on the ground. He wondered if he was supposed to weep.

"Oaf." Snape dismounted to help him up.

Sirius was half standing and had tilted his hat in their direction. "My apologies, Harrietta. I didn't think that I'd startle Nimbus... wait a minute." Sirius's eyes narrowed. "Why are you riding Nimbus, or better yet how? That horse won't let anyone near him but Harry. He's beyond skittish."

Snape helped him back up in the saddle before remounting his own horse and it gave Harry enough time to figure out an answer. "When he bought Nimbus he trained him at the manor, and I spent some time helping him."

"Really?" Sirius frowned. "Harry told me that he trained Nimbus alone."

Scoffing, Snape mounted his own horse again. "Black, do you really expect a man like Potter to admit that his sister helped him train a horse?"

Harry could kiss Snape right now. "I doubt Harry mentioned it, I was more of a hindrance than a help, and Lord Snape is right. Harry's always been proud when it comes to his horses."

As a group they started moving again.

"No companion today, Black?"

Sirius grinned. "I was going to take Lady McGonagall out today, but she seemed rather miffed at me. Can't imagine what I did."

Snape snorted and pulled back on his reins. His horse danced to the side. "It wouldn't take much to set that lady off, Black."

Harry bit his lip. Her ladyship was always doing this to Sirius. She'd agree one day and then change her mind at the last minute. He had the feeling that she enjoyed watching Sirius act the fool around her. Not that any of the flirting between Sirius and the dowager was, well, serious.

"Of course, had she come, she'd bring that tabby cat of hers with her. Whenever I'm around it, I have a desire to chase it into the nearest pond. God awful animal."

Harry caught sight of Ginny and Luna riding a bit in front of them and excused himself to go talk to them for a moment.

"Good afternoon."

"Harry!" Luna reached over from her perch and laid her hand on his arm. She looked rather precariously balanced. "Thank you so much for agreeing not to breathe a word of what happened. I don't know what I'd do."

He smiled at her. "Of course, I'm pleased to help."

"You're such a dear." Ginny maneuvered her horse so that Harry could ride between them. "Is there anything we can do to repay you?"

Harry looked furtively around him and lowered his voice. "Can you give me a few pointers on how to ride sidesaddle? It feels like forever since I've ridden."

Luna pulled her skirts tight against her legs. " Just watch my legs."

Harry blinked. He never thought that he'd find himself staring willingly at a woman's leg before.

They were both watching Harrietta riding ahead between two young women. Eventually Black broke the pleasant silence between them. "You never did tell me how that last party went, Snape."

"She fainted on the dance floor."

Black grimaced. "She suffers from a weak constitution?"

Severus shook his head. "Most likely she does it to avoid conversations. Justin Finch-Fletchley wasn't that far from us. And the time before we were discussing the carriage accident her parents died in."

"Well there's a woman for you." Black leaned closer. "I take it by the lack of notices in the paper that you failed."

"You make it sound like a mission."

Black scoffed. "Well, hunting a wife is not much different that fighting against the enemy is it?"

Severus tilted his chin toward the two girls with Harrietta. "We were interrupted too soon. A minute or two later and it would have been done."

Black hummed in thought. "She's attending the Scamander function tomorrow night."

"Then it seems like I have another chance."

"You have the special license?"

Severus flashed him a wicked smile. "I am always prepared, Black."

"He came."

Harry tried to pry Draco's hand off of his arm. "Who?"

"Your man of affairs." Using his fan, Draco pointed toward the other side of the room.

"Ronald?" Harry looked at where Draco was pointing, but he couldn't see him. "I can't see him. I thought you were supposed to be careful at how you handled the fan."

Draco gave him the look he gave Scorpius when he dropped his fork for the millionth time. "I want him to know I'm interested."

"Really. You realize that no man here knows what you're doing with that fan." Harry had to take every opportunity that he could.

"Hush. Where's Snape?"

Harry tried to shrug nonchalantly. "He's just arrived."

Draco turned toward the door. "Really, I don't see him. Perhaps you can just sense his presence."

"No more than you can sense Weasley's."

"Harrietta."

Harry turned, a smile on his face and trying to flutter his lashes as Draco was teaching him. "My Lord. I didn't know that you would be attending."

"But where you go, I follow." Snape frowned. "Is something wrong with your eye?

Draco was practically bouncing on his toes next to him and hiding his smile behind his hand.

Snape continued. "Have you dined yet? I understand that there is an excellent cold buffet out."

Harry thought a moment. He couldn't leave Draco alone, but he didn't want Draco to accompany him either. "I would love to, but I'm afraid that I must wait with Draconia. She's to meet Mr Weasley here."

Draco's eyes widened. "Harrietta, dear, whatever are you doing?"

"If you would like," Snape said, "I shall go and fetch young Mr Weasley to keep your companion company."

"Oh, thank you, My Lord."

Harry followed Snape with his eyes across the room. Only when Severus was within feet of Ronald did he finally catch sight of his man of affairs. How Draco could differentiate the back of his head from the rest of the sea of redheads, he'd never know.

"That was not amusing, Harrietta." Draco sounded like a curious cross between furious and happy. If he was ever happy, that is.

Harry grinned. "You're welcome. How many dances can I have without it being improper?"

"Two. That is it for the whole night. And don't even think of going out into the gardens."

He took two steps away and turned, smiling. "Of course, Draconia. I'll be on my best behavior." He fluttered his lashes again.

"Don't do that. You look like a half-wit." Draco smoothed out his skirt as Ronald approached.

"Mrs Sangpur, I was hoping that you would attend."

Draco tapped his fan in his hand. "Well, Harrietta was intent on coming here tonight. I would have much preferred the Abbott's affair."

"Perhaps I can find a way to amuse you this evening." Ronald held out his arm. "Would you care to dance?"

Draco opened his fan with a flick of his wrist. "I suppose."

He placed his hand on Ronald's proffered arm, and was led toward the dance floor.

"That young man has no idea that he's being played like a violin."

Harry looked up at Snape. "No, he doesn't, and I don't think he'd appreciate being told so, either."

Snape offered his arm and they made their way toward the room with the buffet, but Snape led him past the doors and out into the gardens instead. "It's a peaceful night, and I thought that you might appreciate the clear sky."

"Oh?" Harry wondered if he should actually fight the urge to break the rules for once.

"The view is much better from the eastern corner of the garden."

He shouldn't, he knew that, but it was so tempting. "Really?"

Snape nodded. "Would you like to see?"

Flicking his fan open in imitation of Draco, he placed his hand back on Snape's arm. "I suppose."

"Perhaps you've spent too much time with your companion."

Harry smiled. "At least I don't step on your toes when we dance anymore."

"Well then, I suppose it's a small price to pay." Even Snape's smile was more grimace than smile, but Harry didn't mind. He rather liked it really. "Here, the view is much better."

Looking around at his surrounding, Harry frowned. The hedges were high and looked like one of those mazes that everyone was adding to their property for no real reason. "Perhaps for someone of your stature, but I cannot see much other than the hedges."

Snape placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and moved him until he was standing with his back to him. "If you stand right here you can see one of the Scamander's rather fanciful fountains." Snape stepped closer and Harry could feel where his leg was pressing against his skirts. "They have three, and this one is the grandest."

Harry swallowed. "Oh. I thought that we were going to look at the stars."

Snape's breath was hot against the exposed nape of Harry's neck. "We were, but you happen to be too short."

"That's not very nice, my Lord. I happen to be the exact same height as my brother."

From the corner of his eye, Harry could see Snape's eyes slide shut. "You have much in common with your brother?"

"Quite a bit."

Snape twisted them slightly and Harry realized that they were closer than he had originally thought they were. "Then your brother must be fascinating indeed." Snape's hand settled on Harry's arm right above his glove, and Harry turned to face him better.

"Was that a compliment, sir?" Harry swallowed. They were quickly entering into dangerous territory and he knew it, but neither could he stop it.

"But of course."

Snape closed the last of the distance between them and his lips settled over Harry's in the barest of brushes. Harry was lost. He slid his hand up Snape's arm over his jacket and pressed his hand to his cheek, parting his lips on a sigh and letting Snape deepen the kiss.

Fingers brushed his back and along the edge of his dress, and Harry could feel the sleeves being tugged down. Forgetting everything, Harry pressed closer, molding his body to Snape's and pressing their erections against each other.

Fuck.

Harry stared into a look of shock that must have been mimicked in his own face. One that quickly turned from shock to furious anger.

"What the bloody hell is going on?"

"I can explain—"

Snape pushed him away and crossed his arms. "Oh? I cannot wait."

Even Harry at his most dense moments couldn't have been able to miss the sarcasm. He tried to back up, but one of Snape's hands snapped out and closed around his upper arm in a tight grip.

"That hurts."

"You're not a woman, and I don't give a damn."

Harry swallowed. "It's quite simple."

Snape opened his mouth, but the crashing of the foliage around them coming from the direction of the fountain brought him up short. "Bloody hell."

Harry only had time to turn and see Sirius approaching with the dowager Lady McGonagall on his arm coming around the corner to where they were.

Lady McGonagall made a tsking sound in the back of her throat and raised one imperious eyebrow. "Oh my, what do we have here?"

Sirius, for his part, looked like the dog who had caught the cat who had finished off the cream. "Tell me she said yes, Snape."

McGonagall turned her cool gaze onto Sirius. "Pardon?"

"My dear friend Snape, here, was going to ask Miss Potter for her hand in marriage tonight. I assume…" Sirius grinned as he looked Harry over. "That she's accepted."

The pieces started falling into place. Harry was going to kill Sirius when he was in trousers again.

"Of course she's accepted, my Lord." McGonagall shook his head. "And you wonder why I decline spending more time in your company than I absolutely must. One must only look at the girl to see what her answer must be whether he actually asked the question or not."

Harry hung his head. This was a disaster.

"You will both straighten your appearances before returning to the ballroom, I hope." McGonagall stalked off and Sirius tried to follow her. Snape reached out to try and stop him, but failed to get a good grasp of Sirius's coat.

"I think that I'll go and help her spread the delightful news," Sirius said, and then he was gone.

Snape sank onto a nearby bench and raked his hands through his hair. "This had better be an elaborate joke that Black was playing on me."

Harry shook his head and tugged at his sleeves. "Sirius doesn't know that I'm not my sister."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Really?"

"My sister Harriet died in the same carriage accident as my parents. She was the third person that you alluded to before I 'fainted'." As Harry was adjusting his curls into something he hoped didn't look horrible, he caught a glimpse of the frown on Snape's face.

"So why the act?"

"Guilt? I never visited my sister once I left for school. She always wanted a season and she never had a chance. It's the last thing that I could give to her." Harry turned away. "I don't expect you to understand."

"And your companion? You found a girl that would go along with this?"

Harry snorted. "Draconia is actually Draco and the widowed son of a French comte."

"You make quite a pair."

Harry shook his head and tugged on his gloves. "It is not like that at all." He sighed. "Don't worry. All I have to do is go in there and tell everyone I'm me and go live in the country until next season. Just one more idiotic thing that Harry Potter has done to garner attention."

If anything Snape looked even angrier. "It will make me look the fool."

"I'm sorry That's all I can say." He paused. "What do you want me to do? Whatever it is, I'll do it. I'll even have Harrietta disappear."

Snape just looked away.

Harry watched Draco from where he was standing by the door, one hand on the jamb and one on his hip. He looked like a fisherman's wife, but Harry thought better of saying such to his face.

"Do you realize what you've done?"

With a sigh, Harry turned away. "Yes."

"Exactly what I told you not to do."

Harry paused. "But I didn't have a single dance with him."

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Other than that."

"Something about not going out into the gardens with him."

"And why do you think I told you not to do that?" Draco tapped one fist with his finger in agitation.

Harry opened his mouth and snapped it shut just as quickly.

"Your honor would be compromised!"

"Well I know that now!"

Draco closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "We'll think of something."

"Lord Snape is already working on what to do."

"Harry, the man compromised you; he wanted for someone to find the two of you. He probably arranged for Black to come out with Lady McGonagall."

Harry groaned. "Well, he certainly doesn't want that anymore."

"What makes you so sure?"

"He knows that I'm not Harrietta." Harry chewed his lip and looked up at the ceiling.

He heard Draco suck in a deep breath and release it. "You told him?"

"Not exactly."

"I don't even want to know what you meant." Draco was shaking his head so hard his curls looked as they were going to come out instead of just bounce. "I really don't."

"Well, you told me that ladies don't kiss and tell."

"One day you'll realize that Harrietta cannot get away with the same things that Harry can."

"I think-"

A knock at the door interrupted him.

Draco looked to see that Harry was still mostly attired as a female before calling for whoever was on the other side of the door to enter.

The housekeeper bustled in, her face all flushed. "My… ladies," she glanced at Harrietta nervously. "Her… ladyship's fiancé is waiting downstairs in the library."

Draco nodded. "Thank you. We'll be down in a moment." He went to stand behind Harry and started to repin his hair.

Once the door closed, Harry spoke. "I told you that Snape would think of something."

"Do I even have to tell you how lucky you are?"

"Don't you mean unlucky? He prefers women, Draco."

"We'll discuss that later." Draco stuck in the last pin. "Right now, you're lucky because he hopefully has already come up with a plan."

"It's simple really." Snape leaned against the mantel. "We won't call off the engagement; we'll get married by special license. Harry won't be saddled with the rumors that his sister is fast and I will not be made the fool by having an engagement broken."

Draco lifted one hand up slightly. "But that doesn't change the fact that you'll be marrying a man, not exactly what you've set out to do."

"Not to be offensive, but if the chit died once, she can die again."

Harry's mouth dropped opened. "That's my sister you're talking about!"

Snape turned to him, his voice blank. "You're the one who has decided to bring people back from the dead. What were you planning on doing with her once you'd had your fun?"

Harry looked down. It was Draco that answered. "If I know Harry, I'd say that he never thought that far."

"That's not funny, Draco."

"But it's the truth."

"Enough of your pointless bickering." Snape clapped his hands. "You need to prepare to move 'Harrietta' and yourself to my townhouse in two days time. He'll need your help in the interim"

Harry looked up and watched as Snape paced, the muscles in his thighs drawing his attention more than the stormy countenance of his face.

"Tomorrow, we will take care of the settlements and the day after, we will take care of the formalities."

Harry jerked in place. "Settlements?"

"Do not, for a moment, Potter, think that you will find a way out of paying your sister's dowry."

Harry clenched his jaw. At least, Severus would be his for a short period of time.

"Will that be suitable, Harrietta?"

It would be if Severus didn't want his sister. "Yes."

"Good. I need to go to my club and arrange for a witness. I assume that Draconia will be yours."

Draco nodded. "Of course, It's the most practical course of action."

"I shall ask Black, since he got me into this infernal mess." Snape glowered.

"Did you... Are you going to tell him that I'm Harry and not my sister?"

"No. I'm sure that would derive entirely too much pleasure from the trick you've played on me, Potter. And wear trousers, I can't speak to you like this, Potter."

Harry flinched. The way Snape said his last name was horrible. "All right. Thank you."

Harry paced around the room he had been placed in. More damn flowers. What was it with women and flowers? It would never make any sense to him. He glanced over at the connecting door. He knew it wouldn't open, but that didn't make him any less curious about what was happening on the other side.

Creeping his way closer, he pressed his hand on the door and then his ear. Perhaps it wasn't too thick, and he'd hear Severus... reading. He had no idea what the man did before bed.

"You should tell him," an unfamiliar voice said.

"The little dandy practically made a complete fool of me, Lupin."

"But the two of you would be perfect for each other."

What? Killing each other was much more likely, Harry thought.

"We'd kill each other, more likely," Severus answered.

Harry hated being right.

"He's attractive, and young… what isn't there for you to like?" The other man must be moving about the room because Harry had a hard time catching everything.

"The fact that he dresses as a woman."

"You told me yourself that he seemed far more comfortable in a pair of trousers. How did you get him to put a pair on anyways?"

It was silent for a moment, and Harry pressed closer to the door. He didn't want to miss any of this conversation.

"I told him I could not speak to him dressed as he was. The trousers did not fit as well as rumor had led me to believe that they would."

"Does he have a nice arse? Can't tell with a dress on."

"His arse is not the topic of conversation."

The other man laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."

Harry hoped that Severus was speaking to his valet and not his lover.

"Do you get to keep her dowry? After all that hard work pretending to be normal and seduce the sister of a man who... how do you put it... prefers the company of his own kind."

"It would have worked fine had he not been pretending to be his sister." Even through the door Harry could hear the disgruntlement and knew just the look that was twisting Snape's features.

"But you would have been lusting after your wife's brother the entirety of your marriage. Tell me, Severus, would he have received invitations to your house parties?"

"It doesn't quite matter any longer, does it? There is no sister."

"Then you are perfectly free to have your... wife." Harry heard a choked laugh through the door.

"I think I can finish readying myself for bed. Go."

"Did I say something? Or have I given you ideas?"

"Leave now."

Definitely the valet.

"Don't forget that you have a young man in the other room whom I wager is more than willing to assist you in readying for bed."

"Out!"

Harry pushed himself away from the door. At least the reason that Severus would always bring up 'Harry' to 'Harrietta' was clear. Severus and he clearly enjoyed the same preference. At least Harry wasn't tied to a man that he couldn't have,--just to a man who refused to admit that he wanted him. Damn.

Harry considered knocking on the adjoining door, or going back to listen to see if Severus was finishing up. It would be interesting to hear, certainly. He took a step closer, but what if Severus was just reading. What if this valet had been wrong about what Severus wanted?

There was only one way to find out. He took the handle of the door in his hand and twisted. Locked. Damn the man. He lifted his fist and knocked.

The door opened almost immediately. Severus seemed very calm, but not exactly happy to see him. He had a robe tied loosely around him, but his feet were bare. Harry stood there staring at his toes and the bit of calf he could see.

"Can I help you, Potter?"

He lifted his hand and scratched at the back of his head. He really didn't have any idea what to say. I know you already hate me for everything else I've done, but I heard your private conversation with your valet and I thought I'd find out if what he said was true. That wouldn't work. "I just wanted to ask if you had any brandy."

Severus stepped back and allowed him to enter. Harry immediately relaxed, this wasn't a room adorned with flowers and light colored furniture that looked as if it would fall apart the moment he sat in it. There was a large, plush Persian rug at the foot the bed, which was huge, bigger than his anyway, and mahogany. He'd much prefer staying in this room, with company.

"It's over there, on the table by the chair."

Harry walked across the room, his feet sinking into the rug with each step. Heaven. He lifted a snifter in one hand and the decanter in the other and poured a large portion. "Men always have better taste in decorating."

"My grandmother decorated this room personally."

"Oh. Then she had wonderful taste in decor."

Severus nodded. He was staring at him oddly and Harry shifted under that gaze.

"What?"

"What are you wearing?"

Harry looked down. He hadn't stripped off the chemise he'd had on today. Draco had seemingly forgot to pack any trousers or even a robe that wasn't covered in ribbon and flowers. At least the chemise was plain white.

"Blame Draco. He forgot that there was a man under all these clothes." At Severus' curious gaze Harry clarified. "He didn't pack anything that wasn't feminine in nature. He's a trifle miffed at me right now."

"And why would that be?"

"He thinks it's all my fault that I was compromised and his fun is over."

"Not that you dragged him into this idea of penitence for your sister's death."

"I don't think so." Harry lifted the glass. "Thank you. I suppose I should go. It must make you uncomfortable to have a man in your bedchamber."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well me being the way am I and you being the proper prick that you are. The only man you've probably ever had in here is your valet."

One of Severus's eyebrows lifted. "The way you are? I must admit that I never thought I'd have any man dressed in women's undergarments standing in the middle of my bedchamber, no."

"If it would make you more comfortable, I could take the chemise off."

Severus swallowed. "I think I would be more comfortable without you in my room."

"Well, wouldn't the maids be expecting to find a piece of women's clothing in here? It is our wedding night after all."

"I couldn't care less what the maids are expecting to find. Besides, a proper lady would not leave pieces of her clothing in her husband's bedchamber."

"But a proper lady wouldn't get herself compromised either." Harry set the glass down on the table and lifting the hem of his chemise, pulled the whole thing off over his head. "We wouldn't want to raise any more suspicions then we already have, would we? What would the ton think if they found out that Lord Snape married a man?" Harry pushed the chemise into Severus's hands.

"Thank you for the brandy, my lord. I can find my own way out." Harry could feel Severus' eyes on him as he left.

Severus looked over at the connecting door again. The chemise that Harry had pushed into his hands before leaving was draped over the arm of the chair he was sitting in.

The fact that Harry had left shouldn't bother him, but it did. The fact that Harry thought he was interested in the opposite sex shouldn't bother him, but it did. The fact that both of these things bothered him shouldn't bother him, but it did. The fact that Harry was obviously interested in him should bother him, but it didn't.

Severus threw the third glass of the night into the fire. Lupin was going to be so pleased at his fit of temper. He reached over for the last glass that he kept by his decanter before realizing that Harry had taken it into his room.

Well, there would be no harm in getting it.

Hoping that he wouldn't wake Harry up, he went through the connecting door silently. The strangest things struck him as he crossed the room. The rug wasn't nearly as soft as the one in his room. Everything seemed so fragile. Harry slept in the nude.

Severus stopped and stared at the young man sprawled across the bed on his stomach. He was sleeping on top of the sheets, his arms under his head. His face was turned away so Severus walked around to the other side to see what Harry looked like while asleep.

It was an action he shouldn't have taken. Harry's mouth was slightly open, his tongue darting out a bit with his breath. The fingers of his hand flexed a bit under his cheek. It was apparent why Harry had been able to pass as a girl so easily. His features were delicate for a man, though as Harrietta they had appeared rough.

The sight was everything that he had been dreaming of the last few days.

He reached out with a finger and traced it along the curve of Harry's spine to the cleft of his arse. Harry stretched like a cat, his arms coming out from under his head and reaching above his head, the muscles of his legs tightening and relaxing, his toes curling. So responsive to such a slight touch.

What would Harry do if Severus pressed his lips to his skin? It was too tempting of a mental image and Severus leaned down to kiss Harry on the back of his neck, his breath moving the hair there at the back of his neck. Harry's skin tasted salty, the flavor welcoming on his tongue. Harry twisted his head more, offering what Severus took to be a more sensitive part of his neck. Severus scraped his teeth along Harry's nape and Harry moaned.

He should stop, it wasn't right to be doing this, Harry was sleeping, had no idea that Severus would even do such a thing to him. His mouth traced its way down the bumps of his spine with his tongue, and his fingers lightly traced the outline of his ribs. Harry arched his back, pressing his stomach further into the mattress.

"My God, Severus."

He pulled away. Looking at Harry's face he confirmed that he had not awoken, Harry at least he appeared to be sleeping.

As he watched, Harry turned over onto his back. One hand slipped down his stomach and came to rest on his firm erection. Severus was mesmerized at the slow, steady strokes of Harry's hand. He backed up into the corner, just in case Harry woke up and saw him.

"Severus."

As his orgasm came closer, Harry twisted and arched, his hand moving faster. Severus couldn't tear his eyes away. Harry groaned deep in his chest as thick, white strands covered his chest and stomach. He looked amazing and debauched. Severus hadn't even really touched him.

He sensed more than felt Harry waking up, and he made for the door as quickly as possible. As he closed it behind him, he swore he heard Harry say something.

"You should join me next time."

He settled back into his chair and took care of the problem that had arisen while he was in Harry's room. The image of Harry's body writhing on the bed in the other room was etched into the back of his eyelids.

Severus was down in the cellar decanting the top layer of liquid from one beaker into the another when the door to his lab slammed open.

"What?!"

Green skirts were the first thing he saw, swishing and swaying in a way that Harry could never have managed so it had to be Draco. Regardless of whom it was Severus wasn't in the mood to deal with his female impersonators.

"He's gone! Gone! Do you know where he went? No, I didn't think so, if you did, you'd be going after him instead of sitting here in your lab playing with your chemicals. I demand that you go and find him right this instant. Do you understand me?"

Flinching at the shrill tone of Draco's voice, Severus glared. "What in blazes are you talking about, you impossible wench," he barked.

Draco started. "You called me a wench... I don't know if I should be angry or thrilled."

"Just tell me what is going on."

"Harry, he's gone. What did you do to him? Never mind, it's obvious. You've upset him and he left for the country. You realize that you have to go after him, don't you?" Draco crossed his arms. "Of course you do. They say many things about you in the salons, but the one thing they don't say is that you shirk your responsibilities and whether or not you like it, Harry is your responsibility now. So go."

To keep from wrapping his hands around Draco's throat, Severus clenched his fists and held them tightly at his sides. "Of course I'll go after Harry, Draco. I can think of nothing better I'd like to do."

"Good. I knew--"

"I was being facetious, you sod. If Harry wants to have a fit of histrionics I'm glad he's taken it off my property."

Dismayed, Draco turned away, his head hanging and his shoulders shaking. "I thought... I-- Why wouldn't you go after him?!"

"Do not manipulate me with tears. They will not work."

"Fine. Fine! Be a callous fool. I'll be sure to tell the women of the ton what a horrid husband you've been. Perhaps I'll start rumors that you've even beat poor Harrietta and that she had to retire to the country in shame. You'll have no choice but to go after Harry." With a flounce, Draco hurried out of the room.

The beaker of chemicals crashed against the door with a small explosion that scarred the wood of the door. "Blast it!"

Severus watched as Harry leaned low over Nimbus's neck and gave the horse his head as they tore toward a half destroyed stone wall. Fifty feet, twenty-five, fifteen… He shut his eyes and didn't open them until he heard the hooves hit the ground, galloping off. There were no cries of pain, no the thunk of a dead body.

And Harry was tearing off in a whole new direction.

He'd wasted days traveling to his own country estate only to discover that Harry was not there, the staff had no idea that he had married and had barely escaped with few congratulatory wishes. As Snape walked back across the property to the main house, he realized that the only thing that made sense was for Harry to return to his estate. Harry wasn't dependant on him the way a wife was traditionally dependant on a husband.

Hours later Harry rode into the stable yard and jumped off his horse. "What do you want?" He brushed past Severus and headed toward the kitchen entrance of the house.

Severus didn't know if he liked following Potter about. This adjusting to a… something, wasn't working, and they needed to address the issue before it got completely out of hand. He cursed under his breath and ducked into the kitchen.

Harry had a piece of bread in one hand and was spooning hot soup into his mouth with the other.

"Master Harry, he'd be liking some soup too?"

Harry looked back and forth between Severus and the cook and shook his head. "No, Winky, we're not taking care of him. He doesn't share my tastes, you know." Harry leaned back in his chair. "Isn't that what you were trying to prove at all those parties and soirees you attended without your new bride in tow?"

"Harry—"

"He thinks my lifestyle is perverse, Winky."

The cook twisted her hands in her apron. The poor creature had been "blessed" with both ears and nose too long.

"There's no reason to discuss this in front of the help, Potter!"

"Oh, right, I keep forgetting. You're the prim and proper and apparently womanizing Severus Snape." Harry shook his head. "Dobs and Winky were the first I told after… after something at school went too far. They're more than 'help'. Don't forget whose house you're invading."

"As if I could! You're my… my… wife and you've run off—"

"Harrietta ran off. I'm not your wife; I'm your brother-in-law. That is whose house you're invading."

"Master Harry? Something be the matter?"

Severus stared at the equally unlucky butler or coachman or whatever who was standing behind the cook.

"No, Dobs. I'm just running off the riff-raff." Harry sighed and pushed away from the table.

Really, where did Harry get off calling the servants by their names, Severus thought.

"Sure you wouldn't be liking me to do that?" Dobs cracked his knuckles.

"Yes, I'm sure."

Severus glared at him. "Potter—"

Harry stood a few feet away and stared at Severus. "Right. No. Harrietta has had no less than three propositions already and been informed by five society ladies what it is that you really like. In fact, one said that she should stand aside for me!"

Severus couldn't help the bark of laughter that bubbled up. He just wished that it wasn't more than half caused by nerves. "You are jealous of your sister!"

"Winky, me love, I be thinking it's best to let these two work it out on their own." Dobs pulled the cook out of the room and Severus couldn't be more relieved.

Harry glared at him and started toward the door again. "No."

"Worried about her reputation? Would you like to duel for her honor?"

Severus never expected the punch to the chin.

Severus blinked a handful of times and waited for his vision to stop swimming. He was in a room decorated with entirely too many damn flowers.

"My sister is not a joke, and I would fight for her honor even if I am the one that led to it being tarnished."

Severus turned his head and flinched. Squinting his eyes, he saw Harry sitting in a chair that had obviously been dragged to the bed that he was lying in. A scrunched up rug was left in its wake.

"You lied and tried to hide the truth."

Severus snorted and groaned. "And you didn't."

Harry hung his head in his hands. "That's why I think that this needs to end. Harrietta needs to die, and we need to never see each other again."

That was not what Severus's goal had been in coming here. Well, at least not that exactly. "You're right that Harrietta needs to die."

Harry stopped slouching and pushed back the chair, scraping it across the floor and making Severus's head throb. "I'll make the arrangements. A riding accident."

"But not yet."

"Not yet?"

Severus shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. "No, not yet. I suggest a wedding trip first."

"A wedding trip?"

Severus nodded. "Yes, a wedding trip. To the Continent perhaps. You see, I have an idea."

Harry crossed his arms. "I'm listening."

Epilogue
April 1818

"He's gorgeous, but are you going to be able to handle a baby all on your own?" Luna pulled her finger away from baby Albus's grip. "He looks like her."

"Snape will be fine." Harry leaned back against the mantle.

Luna nodded. "Well, I only came to offer my condolences, and I didn't mean to interfere. I was dreadfully sorry to hear about Harry." She tilted her head to the side. "Rather odd that both of you go by Harry now that I think about it."

Harry quickly laughed. "We were always competitive."

Severus pulled on the edges of his coat and coughed.

"I am interfering, aren't I? I'll leave." Luna stood and handed the baby over to Draco. "I am surprised you took the position of governess. Not nearly as much fun, I'd think."

Harry and Severus looked at each other and then back at Luna. "Draconia was essential during those first two months after Harietta's death."

"There was much throwing of things." Draco smiled at the other blonde.

"It's time for him to be put down," Severus said.

Harry snorted into his hand at Severus's sharp tone. "He's a very protective new father. And a grieving widower. You must forgive him, my Lady."

Luna nodded. "Oh I do understand. Miss Weasley also sends her condolences. Have a good day, gentlemen."

"Dear god, I thought the wench would never leave." Severus collapsed into a chair. "Give me my son."

"In name only." Harry narrowed his eyes.

"You do not know that."

Draco did not relinquish Albus. "The two of you can not settle this again upstairs. You'll never know which of you impregnated the woman, since the two of you were too busy competing to see who could do it first. Which is rather ridiculous really. It's time for Albus's nap, and I have to get ready for this evening's ball which Harry, I believe, has volunteered to escort me to."

Severus glowered. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Take care of your heir. That was what the whole purpose of chasing Harry was two seasons ago, wasn't it?"

Severus huffed. "I think I found another reason."

Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips to Severus's. "I don't think it turned out like either of us expected."

Severus smiled. "Completely unexpected."

THE END

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